Funny Marriage Advice Quotes

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.

Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and halfway closed there after.

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.