Funny Marriage Advice Quotes

Funny Marriage Advice Quotes by Rita Rudner, Hemant Joshi, Gilbert K. Chesterton, Maryon Pearson, Johnny Carson, Lyndon B. Johnson and many others.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marr

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
Joey Adams
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always
Red Skelton
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Herbert V. Prochnow
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Simone Signoret
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.
Cass Daley
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and halfway closed there after.
James Dobson
Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Madeleine de Scudery
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin